Independence

Independence

You learn a great deal about yourself while living alone. You find an inner strength you may not have known was there. You find reasons to smile when your better half is hundreds of miles away. You find ways to share your strength and love through the distance that is  temporarily separating you.

Twenty-five days ago a new chapter began for Jason and I. A chapter that brought him to Southwest Florida, while I remained here in NE Tennessee.

I have gone through a slew of emotions in that time period. Emotions that have ranged from happy to sad and everything in between. Those consuming emotions even led to a few break downs that I had to push myself through … which sometimes took too long to conquer.

The best part of those emotions is the love I have for this man has never wavered or been questioned. Jason’s love is what helps me through each and every day a part.

We have grown “heaps” in this time span. We have shown each other that the foundation we created cannot be rocked even in the trying times we are experiencing right now. Our communication has only strengthened. Yes, even through the countless hours we are both working to make ends meet to close this chapter.

The first night he was away I started something that I now look forward to doing every day. This new routine shows Jason that my spirits are soaring even through a couple hiccups. This new kind of sharing, I know helps him through his 15 hour days of work.

One of my favorite times of the day is at the end of Jason’s work day when my phone begins ringing. It’s his comforting tone, his reassurance that carries me through another day. It’s those simple, but yet powerful words “I love you” “I miss you” and “see you soon” that continue to give us both the strength we need.

The beauty of all of this is I have become extremely independent. A kind of independent I have never experienced before. An independence that is invigorating, empowering and incredibly satisfying.

I am proud to say that I have not been confined to my home while Jason is away. Independence.

I am proud to say my appetite that was pretty nonexistent at the beginning has resurfaced. I have dived into a new-found passion of finding new black bean recipes and making myself an incredibly delicious meal. Independence.

I have found the strength to carry on. To continue one of my found loves – running! Yes, although I bring Lucy with me, Independence.

Lucy and I have been venturing down to the Greenbelt quite often, which continues to help me sort through my thoughts, while keeping the positive energy flowing through every cell of my body.

Today we ran 3.78 miles. I’m proud of us for going this distance, especially since it was one of the hotter days since the awful cold winter months.

LUcy 2Whenever we are done with our run, I let Lucy explore and sniff an area on the Greenbelt. Often times it’s the same area.

Lucy 3She loves watching the ducks, which were quite active today. They were quacking, splashing and making all kinds of noises drawing Lucy in and keeping her attention.

Lucy 4 I have to admit the picture below is my favorite of today.

LucyThat oh so long tongue . . .

Signs of spring continue to surface all over Kingsport. It’s such a beautiful time of the year.

new life edit

flower editI know we are nearing the end of our time a part and a new countdown will begin soon. A countdown of when I can see Jason in person. A countdown when I can go running into his arms. A countdown of when we will be in the same space again.

I truly believe there is nothing we cannot accomplish as a couple, and as two separate individuals.

A number of goodbyes

The last few days have been wonderful and of course emotional, as we fill the moments of our days with friends and family before we move.

Last night was a perfect example of spending time with friends and family, as we all gathered at Jason’s parent’s house for our going away party.

It was an incredible night full of laughter and many unexpected presents, as well as a few surprise guests.

I’m grateful that Jen and Ed opened up their home, so we could all gather in one place. Everything was perfect, the food was good, the company was excellent and the thoughtfulness was heartwarming.

At one point of the night, Jason walked up to me and put his arm around me. The squeeze and look said it all … we really have some special friends. The farewell party really was a great way to bring some of those people who have impacted our lives together.

One of the highlights of the night was of course the time I got to spend with Dorene. What a truly great friendship, one that has only grown since I moved back to Fort Myers from Arizona. This beautiful individual has been so instrumental in helping me through the stresses of our move. Every and anytime I needed her she was a phone call, text or visit away. A friendship I will always be grateful for. The best part of our goodbye, was it wasn’t our last one. Dorene is coming by tomorrow to help me clean, wow, what an incredible friend.

As the night went on, more individuals stopped by and spent a few minutes or hours with us as they shared our excitement for the move. So many good wishes filled this already warm house, which only left me with so much joy.

Jason and I have so many wonderful friends, so many thoughtful friends who are truly excited for us. The gifts, which of course was a surprise, blew us away, again how thoughtful.

Last night left me feeling loved …

Today of course that feeling only intensified …

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Dave and Judy treated Jason and I to a day out on the water … fishing and enjoying one another’s company.

As Jason and I left the house, my emotions and nerves were sky high. As soon as we stepped on the boat and got comfortable, those feelings started to subside as Judy and I instantly began a conversation.

As the afternoon went on, I felt like a new person. All the worries about the move disappeared as the boat gently rocked back and forth from time to time, all while breathing in the fresh air. There is something about being outside that calms any and every nerve. What great therapy. It was extremely relaxing to be on the water with three very important people in my life.

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The best part was I caught the first fish and two out of the three that were caught. Although they were only catfish, it was still a great feeling for me!

After some time out on the water, we went back in and began our goodbyes. Although I knew this goodbye was going to be difficult, I didn’t anticipate the tears to flow as much as they did when I finally sat down in the car and reflected on everything that took place this afternoon. 

All the sweet words that Judy whispered as we hugged filled my eyes with tears, while warming my heart. It’s a beautiful thing to watch and feel a friendship grow. This woman has been my other go to person as we planned our move. So many wonderful conversations, so many incredible memories and so many helpful words as things became to overwhelming.

Dave and Judy, you gave us a wonderful gift, a day of relaxation before we pack everything into the U-Haul pod and head to Tennessee.

This past week has filled me with so many emotions, so many memories, so many sweet words that will stay with me forever.

The best part of this past week is the closeness I feel with my boyfriend. I love how we are growing together as we finalize everything to put this move into motion on Tuesday. I love this man with all of my heart … oh my goodness how do I love this man. I know this move is the right thing for us … 

Tomorrow is our last day in Fort Myers. One more day of goodbyes before our next adventure begins, a day of goodbyes that I know will leave me an emotional mess. 

One more day … the countdown is finally coming to an end.