He just knows

Today was an up and down kind of day for me.

The first positive:

I was able to hit all my writing  deadlines early, so I took today off of work and had a lazy day with Jason. The weather was overcast, one of the reasons why we didn’t go anywhere.

Sometimes it’s nice to have a lazy day.

The second positive:

As I was in and out of sleep laying on the couch, Jason already fast asleep next to me, the phone rang with the familiar name “Monica.” I was suddenly not tired anymore as I sprung up from the couch, carefull of course, so I wouldn’t disturb Jason, as I grabbed the phone.

You see, this familiar name was my mom calling. A surprise call, one that I always love to get. They are so much better than text messages.

We haven’t talked in a while, of course our busy schedules getting the best of us. So after about an hour of catching up and sharing laughter we finally said our goodbyes.

The first down:

I was in good spirits of course because we finally talked, but I was also struck with homesickness, which kind of blindsided me. It caught me off guard when I put the phone back in its charger.

The thing about this is I’m not homesick because I miss Fort Myers, the feeling grabs a hold of me because I miss family and friends. When I think of home it’s here in Kingsport. When I think of home, it’s where Jason and I are together.

I’m usually on a pretty intense high after mom and my conversations because, well, my mom’s my best friend and I miss her dearly.

This time of year mom and I were inseparable on the weekends, especially with dad playing baseball and Jason always working. We always found something to do even if it was just hanging out at the house.

So needless to say those thoughts consumed me when we hung up. Don’t get me wrong, I love that Jason and I made a move to Tennessee from Fort Myers to start a new life, if you will, for ourselves. But, I miss having our mother, daughter days.

With all this said my third positive of the day happened.

After Jason and I were done with dinner, I went upstairs for a little while. Once I returned Jason was laying on the couch. With the couch being the only furniture in our living room right now, my first thought was hmm, where am I going to sit. Then I looked at Jason and he made that motion with his hands of “come here” with that look I absolutely love … that caring and loving look.  

He just knows. He is so intuned, most of the time I don’t even tell him what’s running through my head, he just  knows. He reads my moods, sometimes catches the change before I do.

As he wrapped his arms around me, the homesickness feeling began to loosen its grip. Tears began to fill my eyes, but never fell, as I thought, “wow I have such a good man.”

Jason, I don’t know what I would do without you. I have never experienced a love of this magnitude before. It’s an incredible feeling, one that fills my heart with so much joy.

Felt like I was there

Tonight it felt like I was a part of the second family Christmas celebration, thanks to technology. It was definitely the highlight of the day.

This year’s holiday, although was good because I spent it with one of the most important people in my life, left me a little homesick. Tonight after seeing my older brother and sister-in-law, older sister, brother-in-law and nephews, as well as my little sister’s, mom, dad and grandma made me miss family, made me miss living close by.

Jason and I knew this would be my biggest challenge moving to Tennessee from Florida. I guess being one of six children, that feeling occurs every once in a while. I haven’t experienced this much of that overwhelming feeling until now. But I guess after living here for almost eight months it was bound to happen.

Don’t get me wrong, moving to Tennessee has been wonderful and rewarding. It is absolutely beautiful here! It has brought Jason and I even closer, as well as reminding me just how strong I am. I do not regret making that decision with Jason, I never will.

I just miss family . . .

I loved seeing everyone tonight. My nephews had my cheeks hurting I was laughing so hard – their dancing was hilarious. As Emily said they were being little “hams.” It made me smile watching Ian dance because their craziness usually happens with all the chocolate they consume, as well as the exhaustion and excitement that happens with Christmas. As they were dancing, everyone was laughing and talking, which was so typical of a family gathering. It felt great to be a part of that . . .

Ian, my oldest nephew is getting so big and Lucah, oh my gosh, he is not a little boy anymore. I absolutely loved seeing them even if it was through my computer screen. These cute little boys have grown tons since I left Florida at the end of April.

It makes me want to make a trip to Fort Myers and spend some time with everyone.

Family is such a huge part of my life, they are with me every day even though they are hundreds of miles away. Not a day goes by without thinking of at least one of them.

For example, the other night I made myself grilled cheese sandwiches with tomato soup – I instantly thought of my older brother Bill. Or the ducks I saw sitting on a log at the Greenbelt made me think of Mom – I felt her next to me.

I am so fortunate to have such a loving, close family. They all mean the world to me.

Very fortunate

Last night as Jason and I laid in bed talking, many feelings completely overwhelmed me. I couldn’t help but smile as I snuggled a little closer.

I am incredibly fortunate to have this man in my life. I am reminded on a daily basis why he holds such a special place in my heart.

Yesterday was the first time in a few years that we spent a holiday away from my family. That’s when homesickness hits me the hardest, on the holidays, when I know everyone is gathering.

That’s when I pick up the phone and call mom, it gives me that sense of home and helps me carry on. I just hope she knows how much I truly treasure what we have. This woman is the best mother I could have ever hoped for, she is my best friend!

Jason understands, completely understands, how hard days like Thanksgiving can be for me. Because of him, we made it through that homesickness. We are starting our own traditions.

Our first Thanksgiving in Tennessee was good, the food was tasty and the company was good. Jason’s mom flew in from Wisconsin to spend the holiday with us.

As the day went on I learned a little more about Jason and his childhood. It began to show why I love this man so much, why I respect him, why he is my partner and best friend.

I truly have never loved anyone this much. That love only grows every single day. When I look at him I see my present and future, I see many, many years of happiness.

I am continuously touched by this man … touched in ways that leaves my heart happy.

The two of us laying under the covers talking before I finally fell asleep will be a memory that I will hold forever. It was my Thanksgiving moment. The depth of conversations, the raw emotions that we share with each other is something I am truly grateful for. It’s the foundation of this incredible relationship we started more than four years ago.

I love knowing we can talk about everything and everything. That the conversation will continue ….

I am grateful for having two incredible people in my life … Mom and Jason, my go to people!