Flowing freely

This morning I faced the most difficult experience I have ever had in my life.

I have been dreading today since Wednesday. I’ve been trying to slow down the days because I didn’t want Monday to become a reality.

This morning I knew was going to be hard. I just had no idea it was going to hurt this bad.

I feel that Jason and I became even closer this weekend. Every thing is an open book between us, well it always has been. But this weekend, I feel we shared even more. He read my emotions, and I read his. I shared my feelings and he shared comforting words, while he too expressed what he was feeling. There were many times we found comfort in being close to one another, often times not sharing any words at all.

That’s the beauty of really knowing someone. You can read their body language and know when a smile is needed, when a kiss can bring some comfort and when a hug can change the overwhelming feelings.

I felt his nerves yesterday as he was packing, as he was preparing to leave for Florida this morning. His nerves were my worry of what the immediate future had in store for us.

As soon as he started packing his bag the tears began. I was faced with our reality. Packed bags meant the day was almost here.

The beauty of this decision that we made together is exactly that. There was no arguments. There was no heated discussions. There was no yelling. The decision struck us both at the same time. As the weighted decision started taking shape and the logistics were being discussed, we both tried to be each other’s strength.

I will never forget the words of encouragement Jason shared last night and this morning. I will never forget the strength of his arms as they engulfed me trying to give me as much comfort as he could. I will never forget the love I felt when he shared “I promise.”

One of the things that stuck out the most, that has me smiling even through the tears ,is the frame he grabbed to pack of him and I. A picture that exemplifies the fun we have together and the love that we share.

Last night we fell asleep in each other’s arms. Last night was the last time we will be able to lay next to each other for I don’t know how long.

This morning when his alarm went off a little after 3 a.m. my chest instantly began hurting. I slowly made my way out of bed after he was done in the bathroom. I sat on the couch and watched him put the last little bit in his bag. The strength I was trying to brave quickly vanished as the tears began rolling down my face.

This was it . . .

After Jason zipped up his bag he sat on the couch next to me. We were now faced with what we were both dreading. The inevitable.

Jason stood up, as did I. I couldn’t look him in the eyes because of the tears that were flowing freely as I walked rather quickly into his arms. The crying only became harder as he wrapped his arms around me, kissing the top of my head and my face.

This man is my everything. This man is my rock, my best friend, my strength when I have a hard time finding it.

So now as I sit here and write this blog the tears are flowing once again.

My tears became his tears as we walked outside and stood on the front deck still trying to put off the inevitable. One last hug, one last kiss, one last time saying I love you was just that. I couldn’t let him get in the car, although I knew the time had come.

I grabbed Lucy and put her in my arms after Jason made it to his car trying to calm the tears, trying to calm my body as Jason shut the door to the car. By this time Jason’s tears were flowing just as freely. He told me he couldn’t drive away if I was standing on the front porch. One last kiss, one last I love you and I turned around and walked in the house. As soon as the door closed I almost fell to my knees as the crying intensified. I somehow found some strength and walked to the window and peeked outside. I saw Jason wave goodbye and then watched him pull out of the driveway. I watched until I couldn’t see his tail lights any longer.

I knew today was going to be hard, but didn’t know how much it would hurt.

After battling my thoughts I was finally able to fall asleep almost three hours after he left. My sleep was filled with dreams of this beautiful man of mine. I woke to a text message from him sharing how far he made it and he hoped I was able to fall back asleep.

After taking Lucy outside, I came in and called him. I needed to hear his voice. He sounded just as emotionally drained as I was, but still giving me words of encouragement.

I’ve said this many times before. I have the love of a man who would move mountains to make sure we are okay. I know we will be together once again very soon. I know we will feed off of each other and be okay during our time a part. He’s given me the strength to keep my head held high. He’s given me the love to make it through this time.

This weekend only reaffirmed once again that I found the perfect man for me. I have found the man who I want to spend the rest of my life with. I have found my soul mate, my one true love, my best friend.

I pray that the rest of his trip is safe and he makes it to his destination safe and sound. I can’t wait until we are able to Skype tonight, so I can see his beautiful smile. So I can see his comforting eyes. So I can hear his voice, which calms me time and time again.

I know the result of this decision is only going to bring us closer as a couple. I know this decision is only going to improve our lives and take away some of the stresses we have encountered as soon as we are together again.

I love you baby, more than you will ever know.


Here’s a recent post that shares why we had to make this decision:

https://meghan80.wordpress.com/2015/03/06/an-extremely-hard-decision/

Wow … simply wow

Today touched me in a way that left me absolutely overwhelmed … what a fantastic day, another day I will carry with me forever.

With only two days left as the editor of the Eagle, a going away lunch was held for me today.

Little Lilly’s Island Deli, a deli right down the boardwalk from us, made my version of the veggie wrap as the special of the day as a tribute to me. That in itself blew me away.

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They also put a message on their sign, which usually highlights the special of the day …

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This sign kicked off a very emotional day … Chris, Robin and Matt … you all will be missed. You all always brighten my day … especially that wonderful laugh of yours Robin.

Elsie, one of the first women I met when I started on the island, put a letter to the editor in the paper yesterday inviting the community to come say goodbye.

What a thoughtful gesture …

As the hour and a half went by, various individuals came in, shared their goodbyes, and well wishes. I received lots of hugs and a few kisses before we walked away from each other. Some even came baring gifts.

I was especially touched when Linda came into the deli. I instantly got up and hugged her, an embrace that shared every emotion she was feeling at that moment. That hug spoke to me, spoke volumes. As we pulled away tears filled her eyes as she shared how much she was going to miss me. Since I am an incredibly emotional person, I told her to stop crying or I was going to start. We hugged again, after I shared my contact information with her. That goodbye and best wishes touched my heart in such a deep way, made me feel incredibly loved.

As I sat with a great group of women at lunch, laughing uncontrollably, it hit me how much I am going to miss this island and all of the people who have touched my life. I never thought I would have so many emotions fill me as I said goodbye to a place of work.

The best part was those goodbyes continued as I went back to the office.

Although I worked today it did not feel like work. There was so much laughter, so much joy, so many good times. One of the best days I have had on that island.

I don’t think I will ever fully grasp what kind of impact I have had on this community.

The beauty of this job is it never really felt like a job. Yes, I worked a crazy amount of hours, worked way to many consecutive days in a row … and … yes complained about it from time to time. But, I worked with friends, people who I grew to know through the articles I wrote. I became a part of the community in which I did not live all because of the involvement I felt was important to have as the editor of the Eagle.

A community that embraced me, a community that treated me like a member of their personal family will always fill my heart with so much joy.

I am so glad I was given this job, it has changed my life forever! I have so many beautiful memories that I will take with me throughout my life due to the experiences and people I met.

I will miss Pine Island, I will miss writing for the paper that I poured my heart and soul into.

Wow, how incredibly lucky am I, this truly is the best career in the entire world.

So many emotions, so many beautiful, raw emotions are running wild at this very moment.

Beautiful friendship

Today while I was out at one of the many events I had to cover for work, I ran into an incredible woman who has touched my life in so many ways. My day is always uplifted when we happen to be at the same event because of the instant smile she shares when I come into her view.

As Judy and I stood there and caught up on each other’s life, the laughter, smiles and hugs were endless. A couple goose bump moments were also had because of the depth of our conversation. As we stood shoulder to shoulder we reminisced about the journey our friendship has taken in such a short amount of time, which continued to bring more smiles.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAA bus ride from Matlacha to downtown Fort Myers started an incredible friendship that constantly blossoms as we share more stories of our lives – now and from the past. It’s amazing how a friendship was started all because I caught a ride to cover a meeting about a local restaurant in Matlacha. I never expected to be so touched by someone I met while on an assignment for work.

This woman has a heart of gold and a smile that brightens any room. She has such a positive outlook on life and always has a great story or joke to warm your heart making you smile.

Although some people come and go throughout a lifetime, I know this friendship will remain constant no matter where our future takes us.

Thank you for always bringing so much joy to my life and being such a huge supporter of my journalism journey. That, my “special” friend, means more than the world to me.

Friendships . . . they bring so much joy into your life . . .

I believe certain people are brought into your life for a reason. Judy and her husband Dave have shown me so much as they bring me on their incredible journey as they grow and expand their non-profit organization Wounded Warrior Anglers. My life has definitely been enriched because of their friendship.