An extremely hard decision

An extremely hard decision

The life as we know it in Kingsport was shaken pretty hard on Wednesday, which resulted in a quick action plan. An action plan that left us both in tears as the discussions began.

After dropping Jason off at work on Wednesday, I came back home and began writing one of the many articles I had to turn in to meet deadlines.

As I was working, my cell phone rang a little after 11 a.m. as Jason’s face filled my screen. After saying hello, he said I have to call you right back. My phone rang again a few seconds later only to hear, I’m walking home, come pick me up.

I threw on my shoes, grabbed my purse and was out the door. I’ve had phone calls like this in the past.

Within minutes Jason came into view on the side of the road walking. I stopped in the middle of the road, knowing the cars behind me were far enough away. Jason got in the car. I asked him if everything was okay. He replied “No. I don’t want to talk about it.”

The ride home was pretty quiet, as my thoughts shot in every direction of what could have happened. When we got home, we both got out of the car. Jason came around to my side and said “I know you mean well, just give me some time.”

I respected his wishes, knowing he would share once he settled down.

Well, that all changed when he walked into my office and asked how much we still owe on his car. After I looked it up for him, I asked, what’s going on?

That’s when the events of the morning unfolded and I learned that Jason’s boss told him to leave for reasons I think are absurd.

My response of course was if he can unravel and get that nasty that quickly, I don’t want you working for him anymore. You’re done babe.

I worked for his boss for a little while creating labels for him for cheese and bread. The beginning of our working relationship was nice. Towards the end, I started to not care for him anymore. So, I finished all the work he had given me, provided him with the files and wiped my hands of the whole situation.

After Jason contacted a few people he knows in the area asking if they had work or if they know of anyone looking for help, we decided it was time for a major change.

That change, like I said, shook us pretty good.

That change . . . well, we knew deep down, was in the cards.

That change we both knew would allow us to breathe a little more. That decision would take an incredible amount of weight off our shoulders.

That change, like I said had the tears flowing quite frequently.

That change . . . another move.

It’s time to leave Kingsport and head back to an economy that is striving . . . Fort Myers where our family and friends are.

On May 1, it would have marked two years since we moved to Tennessee from Fort Myers. Almost two years of trying to make it work in an economy that does not offer any assistance to stay afloat with the little wages provided.

I am so proud of us for giving this new home of ours more than 100 percent. We gave this place a lot of blood, sweat and tears trying to stay afloat, trying to make a living.

Sometimes you just have to know when it’s time . . . when it’s time to cut your losses and start again somewhere new. When it’s time to come up for air and breathe a little easier.

We found a new kind of beauty. We found a new sense of peace. We found a passion we enjoy together . . . hiking and enjoying the outdoors for all it has to offer.

All of those findings happened here in Kingsport and surrounding areas. This move has made us stronger as individuals and as a couple. The amount of love I have for this man grew leaps and bounds since we made this move together to NE Tennessee.

This is only part of the reason I was a ball of emotions.

Yes, although financially we have struggled for way too long, I am going to miss the mountains, the pure beauty of this state. I am going to miss the seasons.

I am going to miss the beauty of this area.

So, our decision was made. We were saying goodbye to Tennessee, which meant a new plan was in place.

Jason was offered two jobs on Sanibel at two restaurants he worked at before we left Florida. Two jobs that are available to him just as soon as he could make his way back to Florida.

Yep, bring on another round of tears . . .

After long, hard discussions and weighing all of our options, the plan that’s in place has my emotions at an all time high. Has Jason’s at an all time high.

I’ll be completely honest. Every time I think of Monday morning the tears begin to form. Anxiety I have not felt since we first moved here is in full swing. With that said, today’s been the first day I have had an easier time breathing.

Monday morning Jason’s hitting the road to head to Florida and start working at the jobs he was offered. Monday morning I will be saying “see you soon” to the love of my life as I stay here in Kingsport and he travels hundreds of miles south.

This was such a hard decision. A decision we both were not too keen on making. A decision we still are not too keen on making. A decision, unfortunately we both know is in our best interest.

My wish is that the time frame we have predicted will be much shorter than we anticipate. A time frame that will bring Jason back to me quicker, so we can pack up our house and get on the road and make our home in Fort Myers once again.

I know Monday is going to be incredibly hard. But, I know our relationship is so strong that we will give each other the strength we need to make this all work. The strength we need to get through us being  a part.

I have so much respect for this man. So much love. He is my dream guy. He is the guy that will move mountains to make things work. He is such a hard working person, such a determined person. I know I will always be okay because I have him by my side.

I cannot wait to join him in Fort Myers and be surrounded by my family once again. I cannot wait to give Dorene a hug and have my best friend within 30 minutes from me.

I know this is the right thing for us to do.

I just hope what the immediate future has to hold will be easier than my brain is telling me.

Done deal

This morning sealed the deal, we made a deposit for a cute little townhouse not far from where we live now.

Yep, the townhouse that was our first choice! We met with the landlord yesterday and all of our personalities clicked. She seems to be a very nice woman.

I’m really excited about this move. It will be different climbing stairs, but it will be nice to have the bedrooms upstairs and the living room and dining room downstairs.

It’s going to be fun watching our two cats run up and down the stairs. I’m sure we will have plenty of laughs watching them.

The best part about our soon to be new home is its location. There are only 4 units situated on 3 acres on a little hill tucked away behind trees. It’s going to be nice to work from home with all that peace and quite, yep in my own office in the second bedroom.

I’m glad Jason and I only signed a six month lease when we first arrived. Although I like the apartment complex we are living in now, its already time for a change.

I’m looking forward to our move in date next weekend because it’s always fun to decorate a new place.

Let the adventures continue … and the awful packing  begin…

One step closer

Jason and I went searching for a new place to live last Monday, an all day affair, which turned into viewing 5 places and stopping at three other apartments.

He’s so good to me …

I stress easily and worry that things are not going to get done in time, especially when it comes to finding a new place to live. Jason on the otherland, stays very calm and takes everything in stride.

He keeps me calm and level headed  … hence the all day search! That day, although long, was exactly what I needed to stay calm.

The great thing about it all was we both fell in love with the same place. It’s a cute, very homey, two bedroom townhouse. Although we still had two more places to see after we viewed that one, my heart already made up its mind. When we got in the car, I asked Jason what the pros and cons were- we were making a list since we were looking at so many in a row – we couldn’t think of any.

When we got back home I called the landlord and got the process moving along. The next day an application waited for me in my inbox, which was returned within a few hours.

Tomorrow we are meeting with the landlord at the townhouse. I’m excited to see the place again. Jason is already imagining how we are going to set up the furniture and I’m dreaming up how my office is going to look.

Although she has assured me it’s pretty much ours to rent, I can’t wait to finalize everything.

It’s a wonderful feeling to put things into motion, to take charge of a situation.

I hope tomorrow’s meet and greet, so to speak, finalizes everything and a date is set for our moving day.

I’m really excited about this place … it will be another home in Kingsport … another step in the right direction for our future.

Definitely back into the swing of things

I am enjoying working out even more than before … I’m pushing myself to new limits and witnessing great results.
Today, after taking two days off for moving furniture and boxes into our apartment, I went back to the gym.

Although I knew I was going to be sore from moving, I didn’t realize the extent of what muscles would be talking to me the following day.

It feels incredible, well it feels like we are home now that we have everything we own in our apartment once again. The first night of having our belongings, I laid on our overstuffed couch and instantly fell asleep with a kitty by my side. Yep, we are now officially home.

That first night of sleeping in our own bed felt like heaven, granting us beautiful dreams. Thursday night was my best night of sleep since leaving Fort Myers. We didn’t have to pump air into our bed anymore, once we laid down we slept, we slept all night long.

Today after I finished writing an article I laced up my running shoes and headed to the clubhouse. I needed to relieve some stress.

I started my cardio workout on the bike riding almost 16 miles in 60 minutes. I gained new speeds while riding the bike sweating and working off more calories than a few days before.

After I finished stretching, I began my run, again increasing my speed, and almost beating my fastest mile. Seconds away from my top time, another reason to head to the gym tomorrow.

Again the stresses that have accumulated in the last few days were all released, making me a new person when I walked out of the gym.

A little more bare

The pictures are no longer hanging on the walls and the big television does not obstruct the view anymore …

These are just a few differences I experienced as I walked through the door tonight. Our apartment is finally changing, as bigger items are finally being packed away.

I enjoy coming home to see what Jason accomplished before going to work, an incentive to continue the progress of packing even more.

We have about five more days to pack everything in boxes that are either being shipped in the U-haul pod or in one of our cars. 

Although I absolutely hate packing and tend to procrastinate as much as possible, it’s nice to go through everything and throw away what isn’t needed. Definitely a good way to clean.

Nine more

A move we have been talking about for a few years is only nine days away of becoming a reality.

It’s truly hard to believe that we are finally in the single digit countdown of our move to Kingsport, TN. The best part is my nerves are calmed and I could not be more excited about getting in the car and going.

It’s truly amazing what kind of emotions you go through when getting ready for a move. I have been on quite the rollercoaster as far as those go.

I’m a person who has a hard time with saying goodbye. Just ask my boyfriend, it takes a couple kisses and many “have a good days” before I walk out the door.

Now looking back on the rollercoaster I have been on, I know that is where the emotions lie, saying goodbye to every single family member and the many great friends that have blessed my life.

You become used to getting in the car … and a few minutes or hours later you arrive on that person’s doorstep. Although that will not be as easily accomplished, all the technologies that are available will give me countless opportunities to still be in contact with everyone, even on a face-to-face basis.

I am so excited to be moving to another state because it is something I typically would not do. What an adventure to just pack everything up and go!

There is no better time then the present to make a change that will only enhance your life and boyfriend.

The experiences you have shape who you are …

I’m beyond thrilled to be in another state. Oh the pictures I will be able to capture!

The best part is making that move with such an adventurous person who loves to explore every inch of space that surrounds him.

Nine more days until another chapter begins, a chapter that I believe will be full of excitement. I know hard times will be a part of this adventure, but I know things will always be OK.

I am moving to TN with the love of my life and best friend… in nine days!

Twenty-one more . . .

The days are counting down and the time apart is coming to a close. The day we leave Southwest Florida is within reach and nearing in the next 21 days.

I received the best text today . . . “I will be off for the next four nights” . . . music to my ears. A smile instantly spread across my face as I could not contain my excitement. I get to spend time with Jason at the end of our workday – more than an hour or two, something we have not been able to do in consecutive days since February.

Now I get to be spoiled for the next few days – spoiled with my incredible boyfriend sitting beside me and us spending time together. Laughter will soon fill our apartment, laughter from the two of us.

These past few months have been much harder than I ever could have imagined. On the upside, these past few months have shown me just how much I love and enjoy spending time with Jason.

This man has made such a huge impact on me . . . such a positive attitude . . . constant words of encouragement . . . always pushing me to strive for more and never settle. Those are just a few reasons why I love and missed having him home.

Although there were some extremely emotional days over the last few months – some of which I’m sure have yet to surface – days of complete excitement also overtook me.

The beauty of the last couple of months is the friend’s who helped me, listened to me and shared the excitement of our move. You three know who you are! I will always be grateful for the countless conversations, you three are amazing friends to have.

The beauty of my emotional rollercoaster is the amazing man who continues to stand at the end, holding out his arms.

Sometimes we create our own stress, sometimes the more we think, the more worry we inflict upon ourselves. Why worry when everything has fallen into place and will once we arrive? Why become stressed when there is nothing to stress about? Hmmm, only a few words Jason has told me, what a smart man.

When I sit down and think about what is soon to surface – without the emotion of living farther than a couple minutes, hours from family, as well as the stress of finding enough work – the excitement is hard to contain.

Sometimes I have to pinch myself because of the countless opportunities that are going to be within our reach. I am moving to Kingsport, TN with an incredible man, a man who has shown me support beyond my wildest dreams. I seriously could not think of a better person to move to Tennessee with. I am looking forward to our exploring and the countless adventures that will surface.

Twenty-one more days until our apartment will be emptied and our cars fully packed . . . 21 more days until we hit the highway with our kitties in tow . . . 21 more days until a new chapter in our lives begin . . . 21 more days until we get to experience a new state . . . 21 more days . . .  YIPPY!

 “Making a big life change is pretty scary. But, know what’s even scarier? Regret.

Less than 30 days away

The countdown for our move has officially entered less than 30 days, a number both frightening and exciting.

Today text messages were sent back and forth with my youngest sister as we tried to set a date where we can all go out before Jason and I leave.

As we began planning around our targeted day, “Friday,” it struck me that in a blink of an eye we will be leaving the state of Florida. Friday became the go to day because it is Jason’s only day off, which left us with only three dates to choose from before departure, due to a few prior commitments.

I know things will fall into place and a day will be set for our trio date out . . . because there is always time for family.

Our conversation put into perspective just how close that departure day is becoming. With that hope of being able to see all of our friends who have touched us in one way or another before we leave, I began contemplating whether or not Jason and I should set a date where we can all get together for one last good time.

Between both of our schedules I know it is hard to make things happen, to set dates, to see people, especially when their schedules are just as hectic.

Again, I know those friends who are truly near and dear will find time to see us, just as we will find time to see them.

With all of that said, I am still really excited to make this move with Jason.

Yesterday I read a quote that stuck with me “Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will.” Why doubt, when the power of believing is so much more powerful? I believe in us . . . I believe in Jason . . . and I believe in me. We are packing up our belongings and moving to a new area neither one of us have experienced in the hopes that we can plant our roots and enjoy our new home to its fullest.

These next four weeks are going to be jammed pack with things to do, which unfortunately includes packing, and people to see before our move.

Excitement is building

The days are slowly counting down to when my boyfriend and I will be departing from a home we have grown to know, a home that has been a part of our lives for quite some time and a home that brought us together after going our separate ways for more than a decade.

I have moved only twice, the first time from Illinois to Florida with my family and the second time to Arizona to attend Arizona State University, which led me eventually back to Southwest Florida.

A move to another state can be both sad and exciting. The exciting part stems from wiping the slate clean as a new beginning is mapped out at a new destination.

backyard111The hardest part about this move is of course leaving family behind, since I am one of six children and an aunt of four adorable boys. A drive down the street to my parents and sisters’ homes, as well as a couple hour drive to my brothers will no longer be an option, as we will be 14 hours away. The beauty of course behind this is we are an incredibly close family who talks often and a drive back to Southwest Florida or a plane trip is extremely doable.

Family will always be there through thick and thin, so even though we may be a farther distance away, they will forever be close because they are a phone call, text or short trip away.

Although this is constantly flowing through my mind, the excitement of this new adventure grabs a hold of me . . .

As we pulled up Google Earth and highlighted the area of NE Tennessee – our destination – the pictures were incredible, which only increased the excitement of our soon to be new home. The change of seasons, hiking trails, mountains, lakes and farm house pictures, which graced the computer screen, grasped our attention as smiles spread across our faces. The endless possibilities and the new areas to explore are incredibly exciting to think about.

I am beyond thrilled to experience a new state and discover all it has to offer with this man who has become an incredible part of my life. What a journey to take with someone you love and share everything with. Our new journey is on the verge of beginning, a journey I know we will both make the most of, due to his incredible love for finding new areas to explore.

The excitement for the end of April is building, as we put in final notices at work and to our apartment complex, as well as making plans of how we are going to get from point A to point B with all of our belongings.

A new journey

backyard25Today I made a rather large step toward a new journey my boyfriend and I are going to take at the end of April.

Although we have been planning a move to NE Tennessee for the past two years, it was put on hold once I received a promotion in November 2011. He wanted me to gain experience as an editor before we traveled to a new destination, which I will forever be grateful for because of his incredible support.

With a good deal of experience under my belt, our conversation about moving came to fruition once again and was put into motion as the height of season took off.

My boyfriend is now working two jobs . . . 15 hours away from home almost every day of the week. Although I miss him dearly and only see him for a few hours a day, I admire him for working so hard. The beautiful thing about this man is once an idea crosses his mind he puts everything he possibly can into motion to turn a dream or idea into a reality.

His excitement for starting our life in a new location has become contagious, which eventually shed all of my concerns and fear of moving away from everything I know.

That enthusiasm led me to sharing my notice with work this afternoon, making our move that much more real! It was both invigorating and nerve racking as I shared that I will be leaving at the end of April with my executive editor. Her reaction was complete surprise and bummed all at once.

It felt wonderful to share the news of our move because it brought everything out into the open. I can now talk freely of the excitement that builds every day with others besides family and close friends.

The last couple of weeks I have found places to live, as well as newspapers to apply for, which is promising as we arrive in a new state. It is extremely exciting to search for a new home, to think of a new beginning and everything it holds.

The next few months are going to go by in a blink of an eye as we both work a crazy amount of hours to stock away as much money as we can.

Although I am going to miss my family beyond belief, as well as my friends, it is truly exciting to think of our future in a different location.